Most people would describe themselves as busy. So, if your time is already pretty much taken up, what are your reasons for saying yes when someone asks you to do something more?

I talk a lot about the importance of saying no when you need to, but I think flipping the question around can be a really useful exercise too. Because perhaps the problem isn’t so much that you’re bad at saying no, but that you haven’t thought carefully enough about what actually deserves a yes.

And when you’re running your own business, that can have quite serious consequences.

What are your usual reasons for saying yes?

Maybe someone’s asked you to take on an extra client, appear on a podcast, give a webinar or just meet for coffee. Do any of these reasons for saying yes ring a bell?

• I’ve said yes to this person before.

• It won’t take that long.

• I don’t want to be rude.

• I’m flattered they asked.

• It might lead to something else.

• I don’t want to let anyone down.

• I don’t want them to think I think I’m too good for them.

• I want to avoid a tricky or potentially embarrassing conversation.

• What if I miss out on something important?

Let’s be honest, NONE of these are particularly good reasons for saying yes.

Now, I’m not saying you should never do something because you want to help someone out, or because you like them, or simply because it sounds fun. Those can all be perfectly valid reasons. But I do think it’s worth being honest with yourself about why you’re agreeing to something, rather than dressing up people-pleasing or fear of missing out as a brilliant business opportunity.

Why it’s important to say yes to the right things

We have to remember that when we say yes to something, we’re generally saying no to something else. Maybe it’s another kind of work, or paid work, or time with our friends and family, or simply getting some rest.

And the cost isn’t always immediately obvious. You might agree to a webinar that’s only an hour long, but then find yourself spending half a day preparing for it, another hour dealing with the technical arrangements, and the following morning catching up on everything you didn’t get done.

Suddenly that little favour has taken up an enormous chunk of your working week.

Or perhaps you keep agreeing to take on one more individual client because the money is useful, but you never have time to develop the new offer that could help you earn more without working quite so many hours.

There’s nothing wrong with taking on extra work when you need the income, of course. But it’s worth recognising the trade-off you’re making.

So I think we need to have damn good reasons for saying yes. What might those be?

What actually makes something worth saying yes to?

The answer will vary from person to person because it depends on your priorities. And those priorities are likely to change over time.

If you’re launching a new service, getting your first few clients might be your main priority. In that situation, saying yes to a relevant networking opportunity or a chance to demonstrate your expertise could make excellent sense.

But six months later, if your books are full and you’re finding it difficult to keep up with everything, the very same opportunity might be a terrible idea.

Or, if you have several different services, as I do, you might be concentrating on growing one particular part of your business for a while. That means being much more selective about opportunities connected to other areas.

And sometimes your priorities won’t be about business at all. Perhaps your family needs more of your time and attention, or you’re dealing with health issues, or you’ve simply realised you need to stop working quite so hard.

Those are all perfectly legitimate priorities too.

The important thing is to be clear about what matters most to you right now, so that you’re making decisions based on that rather than automatically agreeing to whatever comes along.

Three steps to help you make better decisions

1. Identify your priorities

Start by writing down your current top three to five priorities. No more than five! If everything’s a priority, then nothing really is.

These might include increasing your income, developing a new offer, spending more time marketing your business, improving your work-life balance or making sure you have enough time for your family.

Then think about a recent request for your time and energy. Does it actually fit with those priorities?

You might find that the answer is an obvious yes or no. But often it’ll be a bit more complicated, which brings us to the next step.

2. Get more information if you need it

Let’s say someone asks if you’d like to meet for a coffee.

Now, that could be a really valuable opportunity. Perhaps there’s potential for a collaboration, or they’re a potential client, or they’re someone whose work you genuinely admire and would like to get to know better.

Or perhaps they just want to pick your brains for free.

If it’s the latter, you can still decide to do it because you’re feeling generous, you enjoy their company or you’d simply like to help. But at least you’re making that decision with your eyes open.

And remember that you don’t have to agree immediately. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask a few questions about what the other person has in mind, how long something is likely to take or what’s expected of you.

In fact, I’d strongly recommend getting into the habit of saying something like, ‘Let me check what I’ve got on and get back to you,’ rather than agreeing on the spot.

Because ultimately, time is not magically elastic, however much we might wish it were.

3. Evaluate the opportunity

If there’s a potential business opportunity involved, think carefully about how valuable it really is, and balance that against what it’s going to cost you in terms of time, energy and other opportunities.

Let’s say you’ve been asked to deliver a webinar for free. It’ll be good publicity, you think. Or perhaps that’s what the organisers have told you.

But will it?

Here are some questions I’d ask before agreeing:

• How many of my ideal clients are actually likely to attend? Is the audience a really good fit for what I offer?

• Will I have a meaningful opportunity to talk about my services, or will I be allowed a quick mention at the end when everyone’s thinking about lunch?

• Can I dust off something I’ve already prepared, or will I need to spend hours creating something new? Could I use it again afterwards?

• How busy am I already, and what would I need to move or give up to make time for this?

• Will preparing and delivering the webinar mean sacrificing rest, sleep or time with people I care about?

• And, perhaps most importantly, how am I likely to feel in six months or a year’s time if I say no?

That last question can be particularly revealing.

If you’re worried about missing out on something, try to be specific about what you might actually miss. Is it a genuine opportunity to reach the people you want to work with, or is it just the possibility that something good might happen?

Because almost anything might lead to something else. That doesn’t mean it’s a good use of your time.

Of course, you can’t predict the outcome of every opportunity. Sometimes you’ll say yes to something that doesn’t work out, and sometimes you’ll turn down something that could have been worthwhile. That’s part of running a business.

But making thoughtful decisions gives you a much better chance of spending your time on things that genuinely matter.

Saying yes to the right things means saying no to others

I know this isn’t always easy. Most of us want to be helpful, and it can feel uncomfortable turning down an invitation, especially when someone has specifically thought of us.

But I think it gets easier when you stop seeing every request as an isolated decision and start considering it in the context of what you’re trying to achieve.

Because every time you agree to something that isn’t really a priority, you’re potentially taking time and energy away from something that is.

And that might be developing the offer you’ve been meaning to create, spending more time with your family, taking a proper day off or simply giving yourself enough breathing space to think about where your business is going.

So next time someone asks you to do something, rather than immediately wondering how you can fit it in, try asking yourself whether it’s something you genuinely want to make room for.

It’s a small change, but it can have a surprisingly big impact on your business and your well-being.

And if saying no is something you struggle with, you might also find my article on setting better boundaries in your freelance business useful.

Want to make more intentional decisions about your business?

If you’re finding it difficult to decide what to focus on, or you’re constantly busy without feeling that your business is moving in the direction you want, have a look at my Business Strategy and Growth Resource Centre.

I’ve brought together practical articles and videos to help freelance language professionals clarify their priorities, make better decisions about their offers and business models, and build businesses that work for them.

Explore the Business Strategy and Growth resources

Most people would describe themselves as busy. So, if your time is already pretty much taken up, what are your reasons for saying yes when someone asks you to do something more? Let’s look at whether they’re the right reasons for saying yes. And if not, what really are good reasons to say yes.