Freelancers often see setting boundaries as being a bit ‘mean’, creating walls and barriers between themselves and their clients, when surely the goal should be to be as helpful as possible?
And because we don’t want to be seen as mean or difficult, we often don’t get around to setting boundaries until we’ve already reached the limits of our patience and flexibility.
That student has cancelled at the last minute for the fourth time in a row, and you’re at boiling point. Or a client is messaging you on a Sunday evening, expecting you to respond immediately, and you’re feeling increasingly resentful.
But setting boundaries isn’t about shutting (slamming?) the stable door after the horse has bolted. It’s about making it clear from the outset of the client relationship how you work, what people can expect from you, and how you’d like to be treated.
And ultimately, that leads to better working relationships. As Brené Brown says, ‘Clear is kind.’
So, here are nine ways to set better boundaries in your freelance language teaching, coaching or training business.
1. Declare your working days and hours
It’s easy to assume that it’s obvious what your working hours are. But imagine a shop that didn’t actually tell you when it was open, and had customers turning up at all hours of the day.
You’d think that was a pretty strange way to run a business, wouldn’t you?
And yet, lots of freelancers don’t make their availability particularly clear. Perhaps they’ll happily arrange a lesson at 8 pm one week or agree to a meeting on a Saturday, and then wonder why clients assume those times are generally available.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t work evenings or weekends if that suits you. One of the advantages of freelancing is that you get to decide when you work. But it’s important that those hours are a conscious choice, rather than something that gradually happens because you’re trying to accommodate everyone.
Make your regular working days and hours clear in your client agreements, on your website or wherever people book appointments with you. This helps avoid awkward conversations and communicates professionalism.
Technology can be your ally here. If you use a client management system such as Dubsado (my choice), or an online scheduling app, you can block off unavailable times and set limits on how far in advance appointments can be booked, rescheduled or cancelled.
2. Create and share your cancellation policy
Remembering that setting boundaries is about how you’d like people to treat you, you can decide how strict you want to be about cancellations.
Some people insist on full payment unless at least 24 hours’ notice is given. Others allow a little leeway, perhaps one ‘free pass’ for a late cancellation within a three-month course.
There’s no single correct approach here. What matters is that you decide what works for your business, communicate it clearly before someone starts working with you, and then actually follow it.
Because people will quickly pick up on the subliminal messages in your cancellation policy (or lack of one). If you don’t have one, or you never enforce it, you’re effectively telling clients that your time is flexible and that there aren’t really any consequences for changing their plans at the last minute.
And while you may like to see yourself as laid back and accommodating, that feeling can disappear pretty quickly when you realise you’re working far more hours than you should be and can never rely on having a block of uninterrupted time.
You can still choose to make exceptions when someone’s genuinely having a difficult time. But there’s a big difference between consciously making an exception and finding yourself continually bending the rules because you feel uncomfortable enforcing them.
3. Define your offer clearly
Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction, so make sure you’re really clear about exactly what’s included in your offer.
How many lessons or coaching sessions will your client receive? How long are they? What kind of preparation, feedback or between-session support is included? How long will they have access to any materials or resources?
And, just as importantly, what’s not included?
If you offer additional services for an extra fee, explain this from the outset. For example, you might provide written feedback on a certain number of assignments as part of a programme, but charge separately for anything beyond that.
I’ve noticed that freelancers can be particularly prone to adding little extras because they genuinely want to help. And one small extra probably isn’t going to make much difference. But when you’re doing that for every client, the amount of unpaid work can become quite significant.
Being clear about what’s included isn’t mean or unhelpful. It actually helps clients feel confident about what they’re buying and what they can expect from you.
And it makes it much easier to respond if someone asks for something beyond the agreed scope. You can simply explain that it’s an additional service, rather than feeling that you have to say yes because you never made the boundaries clear in the first place.
4. Let your clients know how to contact you and when to expect a response
Effective communication is at the heart of setting better boundaries.
Let your clients and colleagues know how often you check your email or messages, and when they can reasonably expect a response.
You could even put this into an automatic reply, explaining that you check and respond to emails twice a day, for example at 10 am and 4 pm.
Now, you don’t necessarily need to be quite that specific. Perhaps you simply promise to respond within two working days. The important thing is that people know what to expect, rather than assuming you’re permanently available.
It’s also worth deciding which communication channels you want to use.
For example, on my group programme I ask clients to contact me through Slack, rather than sending questions through a mixture of email, Facebook Messenger, LinkedIn and goodness knows what else.
Otherwise, I can find myself thinking, ‘I know someone asked me about that, but where on earth did I see the message?’
Having everything in one place is much easier to manage, and it also makes it less likely that something important will get missed.
Of course, setting these expectations also means sticking to them yourself. If you tell clients that you don’t respond to messages at weekends but then regularly reply on Sunday afternoons, they’re understandably going to assume that’s something you do.
5. Set clear payment terms
Financial boundaries are just as important as boundaries around your time.
Make sure your clients understand your rates, when payments are due, what payment methods you accept, and what happens if an instalment is late or missed.
Ideally, all of this should be covered in a written agreement before you start working together.
It’s particularly important if you’re offering payment plans, because you need to be clear that a payment plan is simply a way of spreading the cost of an agreed service, rather than something clients can pause or abandon whenever they choose.
Having proper systems in place can help enormously here.
I use automated invoicing and payment reminders, which make it easier to keep track of what’s due and remove some of the personal embarrassment that can come with chasing payments.
Because let’s face it, most of us didn’t become freelance teachers, trainers or coaches because we particularly enjoy having awkward conversations about money!
But if you’re running a business, you need to be paid for your work. And your clients should know exactly what they’ve agreed to.
6. Say no to ‘brain picking’
A friend of mine once described being taken out for lunch by an acquaintance, only to find herself being exhaustively mined for advice throughout the meal.
At least her lunch was paid for, but the advice she gave was probably worth several hundred pounds!
Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with helping someone for free if that’s what you choose to do. I’ve certainly done plenty of that myself. But there’s a big difference between answering a quick question and providing what is essentially a free consultation.
Too many of those, and your day disappears. And potentially your bank balance too.
If this happens to you regularly, there are a couple of things worth considering.
First, are you making it sufficiently clear what your discovery calls are actually for? If someone books a call to find out whether your paid service is right for them, that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to a detailed analysis of their business or a personalised action plan.
And second, could you actually offer a paid consultation or ‘power hour’ for people who want access to your expertise but aren’t looking for ongoing support?
That way, you can still help people who need something more specific, without continually giving away large amounts of your time for free.
7. Create a dedicated workspace in your home
A lot of people started working from home during lockdown, sitting at the kitchen table or squeezing a desk into a corner of the living room.
And perhaps you’re still doing that.
Now, I know not everyone has the space for a separate office. But if you can carve out some kind of dedicated working area, however small, it can make an enormous difference.
Having a physical boundary between work and the rest of your life can help you switch off at the end of the day. And that’s particularly important when you don’t have a commute to create that separation.
It’s also worth making sure that the other people in your household understand your working boundaries.
I have a closed/open shop sign on my office door, which makes it clear when I’m working and would prefer not to be interrupted.
Obviously, this isn’t always straightforward, particularly if you have young children or other caring responsibilities. But even small changes can help create a clearer distinction between work time and personal time.
And if you can’t have a separate workspace, perhaps you can develop a ritual for finishing work, such as putting your laptop away, clearing the table or going for a short walk.
Anything that helps signal that the working day is over.
8. Learn to say, ‘I don’t do that anymore’
As your freelance career evolves, you may find that certain services no longer align with your goals, interests or expertise.
Perhaps you’ve decided to specialise in a particular niche, or you’ve moved away from individual lessons towards group programmes or more intensive coaching packages.
But then someone gets in touch asking for the kind of work you used to do.
And it’s surprisingly easy to find yourself agreeing, particularly if they’re a former client or someone you’ve worked with for years.
However, it’s perfectly reasonable to say, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t do that anymore.’
You can’t be all things to all people. And if you’re continually making exceptions, you may find yourself spending so much time on work you’ve decided to move away from that you never get around to developing the business you actually want.
The same thing applies to your prices.
Just because you charged a client a particular rate two years ago doesn’t mean you’re obliged to offer them that same rate when they come back to you. Your experience may have increased, your services may have changed, and your costs will almost certainly have gone up.
You need to set boundaries that allow you to focus on what you do best, rather than continually spreading yourself too thin trying to accommodate everyone.
And remember, saying that you no longer offer something doesn’t mean you have to apologise for having made a business decision. You can be warm and helpful while still being clear.
9. Practise self-care and recharge
Setting boundaries also means prioritising your own wellbeing.
It’s very easy when you’re running your own business to feel that you should always be doing something productive. There’s another client to contact, a lesson to prepare, an email to answer or a new idea to work on.
But if you’re constantly working, or even just thinking about work, you’re eventually going to run out of steam.
So make sure you’re building proper breaks and downtime into your schedule. That might mean leaving some space between teaching sessions, getting outside for a walk, spending time with friends and family, or simply allowing yourself to do absolutely nothing for a while.
And I don’t just mean taking a break when you’ve finished everything on your to-do list, because let’s face it, when does that ever happen?!
Rest needs to be something you make time for, rather than a reward you give yourself when you’ve done enough.
It’s also often the best way to break through a knotty problem or mental block. Sometimes stepping away from your desk for half an hour will achieve far more than continuing to bang your head against a brick wall.
Setting boundaries is good for your clients too
Feeling better now about setting some boundaries?
I hope so, because I really do think we need to stop seeing boundaries as something selfish or slightly unfriendly.
When you’re clear about your availability, your services, your payment terms and what clients can expect from you, it makes the relationship much easier for everyone. Your clients know where they stand, you’re less likely to end up feeling resentful, and you can concentrate on doing your best work.
And if you’ve been freelancing for a while without particularly clear boundaries, don’t worry that it’s too late to introduce them. You might need to have a few slightly awkward conversations, or give existing clients some notice that things are changing, but you’re allowed to make changes to the way you run your business.
Ultimately, setting better boundaries is about creating a business that works for you as well as your clients.
Because what’s the point of being your own boss if you end up with a boss who’s even more demanding than any you’ve ever worked for?
Want to grow your business without burning out?
If you’re finding yourself constantly busy, struggling to switch off or feeling that your business is taking over your life, I’ve brought together some practical resources to help.
In my Grow my business without burning out Resource Centre, you’ll find articles and videos about setting boundaries, managing your workload, protecting your wellbeing and creating a freelance business that’s sustainable for the long term.
Explore the resources on growing your business without burning out