Self-sabotaging is when the things you’re doing, or thinking, are actually not in your best interests. And, if you’re human, you’ll almost certainly have experienced this at some point!
Sometimes it’s obvious, like putting off something important because you really don’t want to do it. But often it’s much sneakier. You can be working incredibly hard, feeling very busy and productive, and still be doing things that are actually making it harder to build the business you want.
So here are 15 very common forms of self-sabotage to look out for when you’re running your freelance language business.
Not so you can give yourself a hard time about how many you recognise (!) but because we need to spot these patterns before we can do anything about them.
Time management and prioritisation
1. Diving into work without a plan because there’s just TOO MUCH TO DO
When you’ve got a ridiculously long to-do list, it can feel like a waste of time to sit down and work out what to tackle first. Surely you should just get on with it?
But the danger is that you’ll spend your day responding to whatever seems most urgent, or picking off tasks as they occur to you, rather than focusing on the things that will actually make the biggest difference.
And you may finish the day feeling exhausted, but without having done the really important stuff.
Even five or ten minutes spent identifying your priorities can make a huge difference.
2. Trying to do too much
Many of us have a natural tendency to be over-optimistic (or perhaps just unrealistic!) about what we can achieve.
We fill our diaries and to-do lists with far more than we could possibly fit in, and then feel like failures when we don’t manage to get through it all.
Ambition is fine, but not when you’re continually setting yourself up to feel disappointed.
Try tracking your time for a while so you can see how long certain things REALLY take, rather than how long you imagine they ought to take. And allow yourself some cushion time for when things inevitably take longer than expected.
Because they will.
3. Always tackling the easy or quick tasks first
There’s something very satisfying about crossing lots of things off your to-do list, isn’t there?
The problem is that you can end up spending your entire morning dealing with relatively unimportant tasks while the things that would really move your business forward keep getting pushed aside.
And often those important tasks are precisely the ones that feel a bit boring, difficult or scary.
So try ‘eating the frog’ first. In other words, tackle at least one of those more challenging tasks early in the day, before you get distracted by everything else.
You may be surprised at how much lighter you feel once it’s done.
4. Kidding yourself that you’re brilliant at multitasking
Honestly, most of what we call multitasking is actually task switching.
You’re answering emails while half-listening to a webinar, checking LinkedIn while writing a proposal, or preparing tomorrow’s lesson while keeping an eye on WhatsApp.
And every time you switch your attention, there’s a cost in terms of concentration and mental energy.
Of course, some tasks can be combined perfectly well. Listening to a podcast while going for a walk, for example.
But when two activities both require your attention, you’re usually better off giving one of them your full focus and then moving on to the other.
5. Getting distracted too easily
LinkedIn notifications. Emails. Messages. That interesting article you spotted. The sudden urge to reorganise your files.
There are an awful lot of things competing for our attention, and it’s surprisingly easy to lose a substantial chunk of your working day without quite knowing where it went.
Try turning off notification sounds, deciding consciously when you’re going to check email or social media, and perhaps experimenting with the Pomodoro technique of working in short, focused bursts.
You might also find that scheduling some co-working sessions helps you concentrate and actually get things finished.
The important thing is to create an environment where you’re making it easier for yourself to focus, rather than constantly relying on willpower.
Business decisions
6. Still trying to serve absolutely everyone with absolutely everything
As well as making it MUCH harder to market effectively (who are you actually trying to speak to?), trying to serve everyone can be exhausting.
You’re constantly adapting your services, creating new materials and trying to meet a whole range of different needs.
And because your marketing is so general, potential clients may struggle to understand why they should choose you.
Having a clearer niche doesn’t mean you can never work with anyone outside it. But it does help you concentrate your efforts on the people you’re particularly well placed to help, and develop services that genuinely meet their needs.
7. Having a business model that’s simply what everyone else seems to be doing
Perhaps you’re selling individual lessons by the hour because that’s what you’ve always done. Or you’ve created an online course because everyone seems to be talking about passive income.
But have you really thought about whether that model works for you?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any particular business model. The question is whether it suits the needs of your clients, makes good use of your expertise and allows you to earn enough without working yourself into the ground.
If it does, wonderful.
But if your business model is simply something you’ve fallen into because you saw other people doing it, it’s probably worth questioning whether there’s a better way.
8. Focusing on anything other than generating leads and sales
Yes, Canva is great. And reels can be an effective way to build an audience.
But not if you’re actually just faffing about because you don’t want to do anything that might feel too ‘salesy’.
It’s amazing how productive we can suddenly become when there’s something uncomfortable we really ought to be doing!
Perhaps you’re spending hours tweaking your website, creating beautiful graphics or researching yet another social media platform, when what you actually need to do is follow up with people who’ve already shown an interest in working with you.
Marketing and selling are essential parts of running a business. And avoiding them by doing lots of other perfectly respectable tasks isn’t going to help you attract clients.
9. Constantly comparing yourself (usually negatively) with other people
Being aware of what your competitors are doing can be useful. You can learn from their ideas, see what’s happening in your market and notice opportunities you might otherwise have missed.
But there’s a difference between learning from other people and continually using their achievements as evidence that you’re somehow falling behind.
You see someone launching a new programme, getting lots of engagement on LinkedIn or celebrating a successful month, and suddenly your own business doesn’t seem quite so impressive.
But you don’t know everything that’s happening behind the scenes, and what works for them might not work for you or your clients anyway.
There is no one right way to build a successful business.
So try to stay in your own lane. Experiment, learn from what works and make decisions based on your own goals and circumstances.
10. Undercharging and overdelivering
You’re so worried that you might not be providing enough value that you spend hours and hours delivering an amazing service, while charging very little for it.
And sometimes the clients you’re working with don’t even seem to appreciate all the extras you’re providing.
Sound familiar?
Undercharging and overdelivering can become a particularly damaging combination. You’re working far more hours than you’re being paid for, which leaves you exhausted and struggling to earn enough.
And because you’re continually adding more to justify your prices, you may be creating expectations that become increasingly difficult to meet.
It can also affect the kinds of clients you attract, particularly if your low prices are encouraging people to focus on cost rather than the value of your expertise.
So ask yourself whether your prices genuinely reflect what you offer, and whether you’re clear enough about what’s included.
You don’t have to keep giving away more and more to prove that you’re worth paying.
Self-care
11. Falling for all that ‘bro marketing’ nonsense about having to work 24/7
You know the sort of thing. Get up at 5 am, hustle harder, sacrifice everything for your business, sleep when you’re successful…
No, thank you.
Yes, the first couple of years of running a business can be quite hard going, and there will probably be periods when you need to put in some extra hours.
But if you’re constantly working, never switching off and feeling guilty whenever you take a break, you’re not building a particularly sustainable business.
You need to pace yourself, or you may not even make it to year three.
And often the answer is to become much more intentional about what you’re doing, rather than simply trying to do more of it.
12. Never asking for help
Perhaps you think you should be able to do everything yourself. Or you’re reluctant to spend money on support when you could technically do the task yourself.
Or maybe you just hate asking for help because it feels like admitting that you can’t cope.
But you don’t have to do everything on your own.
That might mean asking your family for more support at home, getting someone to help with admin or technology, or investing in coaching, mentoring or other professional support.
There are no medals available for doing absolutely everything yourself.
And sometimes getting another person’s perspective can save you months of going round in circles.
Of course, paid support needs to make financial sense for your business. But it’s worth considering the cost of NOT getting help too, particularly when you’re spending hours struggling with something that someone else could help you resolve much more quickly.
13. Not taking enough breaks or looking after yourself
Running a business is a marathon, not a sprint.
If you’re going to sustain yourself and your business over the long term, you need to look after the golden goose.
(That’s you, by the way.)
Make time to eat properly, get outside, take breaks and do things that have absolutely nothing to do with your business.
And ideally, don’t wait until you’re completely exhausted before deciding you need some time off.
It’s very easy to convince yourself that you can’t afford to stop because there’s too much to do.
But if you’re constantly running on empty, you’re probably not going to be doing your best work anyway.
14. Worrying endlessly about ‘what ifs’
When the responsibility for running your business and earning an income rests on your shoulders, it’s perfectly natural to have the odd wobble.
What if nobody signs up? What if I put all this effort into creating an offer and nobody wants it? What if I make a mistake?
The trouble comes when those worries stop you from taking action.
One thing I find helpful is to distinguish between what you can and can’t control.
If you’re launching an offer, for example, you can control how much research you do, how clearly you communicate its value, how many people you invite to consider it, and how well you follow up with potential clients.
You can’t control whether any particular person decides to buy.
So focus on the things you can influence, make a sensible plan and do what you can to give yourself the best chance of success.
And when it comes to the things you can’t control, remind yourself that you’ll deal with those situations if and when they arise.
You don’t have to solve every possible future problem today.
15. Failing to recognise and celebrate your achievements
It’s so easy to focus on what didn’t go well.
Perhaps you didn’t get as many clients as you’d hoped, a launch wasn’t as successful as you’d wanted, or you haven’t made quite as much progress as you’d planned.
And of course, it’s important to reflect on what’s not working so you can make changes.
But what about the things that DID go well?
Did you have a really positive conversation with a potential client? Did someone give you some lovely feedback? Have you finally finished something you’ve been putting off for months?
Those things matter too.
And recognising your achievements isn’t just about giving yourself a pat on the back. You can learn from what worked, understand WHY it worked and use that knowledge to help you make progress in the future.
So don’t spend all your time looking at what you haven’t achieved.
Take a moment to notice how far you’ve come.
Which of these sound familiar?
Ultimately, many of these ways of self-sabotaging our businesses are expressions of fear.
Fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of not earning enough money.
And that’s completely understandable. Running your own business can be scary, particularly when so much depends on you.
But some of these patterns can also develop because we’re exhausted, overwhelmed or simply stuck in habits that no longer serve us.
Whatever the reason, they can make our lives considerably harder than they need to be.
So once you’ve identified your particular ‘favourites’, try not to give yourself a hard time about them.
Instead, start noticing when they show up and think about what might help you do things differently.
You don’t have to tackle all 15 at once. In fact, that would probably be another form of self-sabotage!
Just choose one or two that are having the biggest impact on your business and start there.
Little by little, you can begin to create habits, systems and ways of thinking that make running your business rather easier.
Want to feel more confident running your business?
If you’re finding that self-doubt, perfectionism or unhelpful habits are getting in the way of building the business you want, I’ve brought together some practical resources to help.
In my Feel more confident running my business Resource Centre, you’ll find articles and videos about overcoming unhelpful beliefs, managing self-doubt, making decisions with more confidence and developing a healthier relationship with your business.
Explore the Mindset and Confidence resources