Most people would describe themselves as busy. So, if your time is already pretty much taken up, what are your reasons for saying yes when someone asks you to do something more? Let’s look at whether they’re the right reasons for saying yes. And if not, what really are good reasons to say yes.
What are your usual reasons for saying yes?
I talk a lot about saying no when you need to, but flipping it around is a useful exercise too.
Maybe someone’s asked you to teach an extra client, or to appear on a podcast or to give a webinar, or just meet for coffee. Do any of these reasons for saying yes ring a bell?
- I’ve said yes to this person before.
- It won’t take that long.
- I don’t want to be rude.
- I’m flattered they asked.
- It might lead to something else.
- I don’t want to let anyone down.
- I don’t want them to think that I think I’m too good for them.
- I want to avoid a tricky or potentially embarrassing conversation.
- What if I miss out on something important?
Let’s be honest, NONE of these are good reasons for saying yes.
Why it’s important to only say yes to the right things
We have to remember that when we say yes to something, we are generally saying no to something else. Maybe it’s a different kind of work, or paid work, time with our friends and family, rest…
So, we need to have damn good reasons for saying yes. What might these be?
Good reasons for saying yes
These will vary from person to person because they’re about your priorities. So, the starting point is to ask yourself, what are your priorities?
These priorities don’t have to always stay the same. If you’re launching a new service, then getting clients for that service might be a priority now, and that might then change if your books are full.
Or, if, like me, you have several different services, you might be focusing on different ones at different times. Or, it might be a time in your life when your family really needs you, and so that becomes more of a priority.
Steps for thinking about your priorities
Identify your priorities
Write down your current top 3–5 priorities. (No more than 5!)
Then think about a recent request for your time and energy. Does it actually fit with those priorities?
Get more information, if needed
For example, if someone wants to meet for a coffee, is there potential for a valuable collaboration? Or are they a potential client? Or do they just want to pick your brains for free?
If it’s the latter, you can still decide to do it because you’re feeling generous, or it’s someone you like spending time with. But be aware that you’re prioritising that over something else that now won’t happen, because ultimately time is not magically elastic.
Evaluate the opportunity
If there’s an opportunity involved, evaluate how important or valuable that opportunity is. How does that opportunity balance out against the opportunity cost?
Let’s say you’ve been asked to do a webinar for free. It’ll be good publicity you think (or they tell you). Here are some questions you could ask to evaluate whether this really is a good time to say yes.
- How many of your ideal clients will actually see this? (Who’s attending the webinar and are they a great fit for you?)
- How much will you be allowed to promote your offer? (A quick mention at the end when everyone’s thinking about lunch won’t have much impact.)
- Can you dust off something you’ve already prepared, or is it going to take hours of prepararation? Can you use it again?
- How busy are you?
- Will the preparation time mean lost rest or sleep or family time?
- How will you feel in six months or a year if you say no to this?
It’s still probably going to feel hard to say no, because we all tend to want to please people. But, if you really weigh up the evaluation questions, you’ll find it gets easier and easier.
Saying yes to the right things and, by extension, creating boundaries by saying no to things that won’t get you nearer your goals, will transform your life, business and well-being.